Marriage
With our Jessi getting married this summer, marriage and its ins & outs and ups & downs has been on my heart quite a bit. It’s heavy stuff. It’s vibrant stuff. It’s the stuff beautiful dreams are made of …
Marriage – To Have and To Hold … from this day forward … unto when? Forever! Until Death parts us … That seems a little overwhelming! How can anyone do that? Wow, and we’re at over 30 years of day in and day out … marriage!
I wonder sometimes how Lowell puts up with me. I know I get on my nerves, so, sure as shootin’, I must get on his! I get so impatient with trying to get things right, trying to understand, trying to live like I’m supposed to live. I get so tired of trying to be the wife I am supposed to be and failing one more time.
I positively don’t get tired of him loving me though. I don’t get tired of having a best friend that knows me inside & out and still decides he’s going to stick with me.
I mentioned in another post – Relationships – how our conversations stay with us. Words either nurture our spirits or they destroy who we are. Our minds act like these amazing recorders and sometimes they tend to retrieve the wrong words and those ugly words eat at us, crumbling our esteem.
It took me years of marriage to learn I had a choice as to what recordings I would listen to. So often when times were a little rough, or it was that ‘time of the month’, I wallowed in unkind words that Lowell had said, I maybe knew he didn’t mean them, like, emotions either got the best of him or he was joking and I chose to take it wrong … yuck! I hated those times.
But, you know, I did a good job at indulging in them. I could get all worked up, get really mad, feel horrible and justify it all because he’d said something to ruffle my feathers yesterday which caused me to remember a conversation from last week, and while I was ‘at it’ I sure enough remembered what was said 20 years ago on the stairs in that house! Whew, am I the only one who’s been at this place and behaved this way? Oh, poor wounded heart!
And then one day I decided to concentrate on and believe the Good Words Lowell said to me – and before long I realized that not a single day would go by but what there was sweet, uplifting words being said … from Lowell to me!
Had he changed? No, it was me. I made a decision to let the negative stuff slide away – like mud being washed off my skin and out of my heart. I decided I would concentrate on and remember words of love, passion, longing, pure sweetness from my husband to me and for me alone. So many precious words have come to mind since I started practicing this. I can call back days from when we first met, I can go into the places of my heart that belong to him alone, I can recall prayers he prayed on my behalf and I smile with the pure sweetness and romance of it all.
With my heart holding on to renewed confidence and healthy self-esteem as a woman I realized I was loving Lowell more deeply and completely day by day. And you know what, “forever” sounded like a very good thing!
Let me tell you about one day in June – June 24th to be exact – we were on the way to the dump in Charlotte with one of our never-ending loads of junk to get rid of and he said the sweetest words, like a whole one-sided conversation … summed up … “You’re the one for me.” Well, 30 years and counting … uh, that was good to know. And, sure enough, today, that precious, little one-sided conversation still causes my heart to sing.
So make up your mind to concentrate on the best words of your marriage. Let the negativity slide off like mud in a rainstorm of forgiveness. I think before too long you will be surprised at how IN LOVE you are! Sweet!
For more fabulous resources on Marriage go to Your Ninth Hour – take a look at what we suggested and add your favorite.
Tags: Family, husband, Marriage, ROMANCE, staying-strong, wife
